Sunday, May 22, 2011

In the present I will remain

I was typing up a few notes this evening and accidentally put in a date of 2001 instead of 2011. I stopped to think about what I was doing in May of 2001 and how different life was back then. Loved ones gone from my life now were living in 2001. The events of September 11 had not yet happened. Life found me in college, living at home, and not yet working at the career that launched my work in non-profits.

The memories of 2001 are bittersweet. Sweet because my grandmother and great-grandmother were alive along with thousands killed on 9/11. Bitter with the realization that my beautiful two year old niece had not yet been born, my puppy was not around and friends made along the way weren't there. Experiences and life lessons still waited to be learned. Struggles with unidentified illness and personal crisis were just beginning.

Don't get me wrong, 2001 was great for what 2001 was meant to be. But it couldn't last forever and it didn't. Sometimes I wish I could go back. I wish I could bring Grandma and Granny to the present with me. But it would change so much that God has brought into my life through those times of sorrow and loss. To erase the hard times would be to erase the lessons learned. As much as I want to go back, so much more pulls me forward.

God was with me in 2001 and He will be with me in the days and years to come. For now, He is here in the present and in the present I will remain.

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